Okay. So now my eyes look damn red and my dark eye circles look awful now. I cried alot just now. I guess I'm sortoff under alot of stress. Family problems (but they apologised and made up for it :)) ) and friendship problem and studies. O lvls are like looming soon and I really shouldn't be using the com but I really needed to let these stuff off my shoulders.
It's only when I'm damn sad. And I feel like calling my friends and my handphone is consficated that I finally realise like. The only number I remembered was yours. Haiz. And I couldn't like call you anymore. Things are like that awkward between us. It all happened because he scolded me for talking about the 7th heaven game with his younger brother. But I only meant it as a joke and I was like at that time sick( as in body sick headache) so I was trying to cheer myself up.
OKAY END OF EXCUSES. i admit I sorta had a hidden agenda behind it. Maybe I said it because I secretly liked him....WAIT I DON'T LIKE HIM. okay I LIKE HIM. NO I DON'T. okay this bring me to my next point. I have no idea whether I like him. So let me list his bad points.
one)HIS ROUGH
two)HIS damn strong. ARM WRESTLED HIM AND HE BEAT ME LIKE IN A FEW SECONDS DAMN IT. THERE wasn't even a fight T^T
three)his rash. BECOS HE MISTOOK SOMETHING AND THOUGHT I WAS AT FAULT. he pulled me hand and dragged me very roughly until all my hands were red TT AND HE SCOLDED ME.
four)he is so FREAKING TALL. his like one nine zero plus >:
five)HE HAS NO LOOKS. ):
six) he likes to do weird stuff like kick other ppl
seven)he has a weird family background
eight)he hits my head when I do something silly or insult myself(okay actually tats a good part isn't it)
okay lets talk about his good points
one)his smart LIKE REALLY OMG LIKE GENIUS MATHS OLYMPIAD
two) his HELPFUL. he help me with my maths
three)his caring. He listens to my troubles
four)his emotional. He hear my sad story cry for me .___.
fifth)his siblings are DAMN CUTE. he has a three year old brother so CUTE. HE PLAYS DINOSAURS WITH ME. and his baby sister omg cute max x.x
sixth)his a good person to talk trash with
seven) his was the first person who FORCED ME to think about myself.
eight) he was selfless. HE WAS LIKE hungry bt i was trying lose weight then he nvr go eat. wait for me to succumb to my hunger and keep ask me if i was hungry
ninth) he told me I was not fat but if I wanted to diet I should like go and buy some nutritious drink so I won't be hungry
tenth)his good with computer games.like really good. THE PROJECT DIVA GAME OMG FIRST TIME INSANE MOOD >:
eleven)his patient. He takes time to teach his siblings
twenth)his damn hyper. He participates in all the school activities while I don't. I'm more cynical ._.
okay so this turned out to be a super long blog post. Do you think I should be friends with him. But he brings me alot of problems and he likes my best friend. Also everyone thinks we are in that relationship. But he brings me alot of pain. Don't know how many times he made me sad. HE LIKE PROMISED he won't ever make me sad but he does it like plenty of times. AND if i liked him that's like horrible.
After that yk incident its like....I haven't like anyone since then. It's like my heart doesn't want to find out who I like anymore. And this situation now is exactly like that time. I'm afraid it would get the same outcome...
plus now. When I see him with that girl. I used to be very amused and laugh at them. Now when I see them tgt and her actions. I feel kinda disgusted its like. She is leading him on letting him like her more and more when he stands like no chance and I feel like looking away. And felt sad. After that i gouged myself with the eclairs which lead me to have a poor appetite later on despite exercising alot after that.
So how sigh. See how damn frayed I am?
Lots of Hate,
Frayed
