Oh yeah, baby! Unlocked various levels yesterday heehee. Well, the one concerning me was staying up till 4 am to find a new profile/display picture for all my accounts. Heh. Went into Miki Sayaka fangirl mode since I decided that she was to be red, therefore I'd be more than willing to be her blue if she wanted me to, you know what I mean? ;D
Heh. And then, YES! I wanna go LegoLand now because she just uploaded pictures of her trip with her family to LegoLand, and I wanna go to the places she's been. 8>
Yes, I'm a huge stalker, I know. Oh, and the levels unlocked for her was the long braid and the bun levels. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY nearly squealed out loud in the middle of the night like at 1:05 am or so. "OTL
But yes, I am happy. Heehee. Next level to unlock will be the twin tails. Heh. I don't she'll tie those though. /sigh
Not for either of our ages. DAYUM. Why does society like to judge people like me who still ties twin tails and twin braids to school?! Ugh. Not that I really care though. I still tie it the way I like it . XD
Oh, and speaking of hair, I kinda miss having my short hair. Should I cut my hair short again? I might be seen as imitating my friend though >.> and i'm kinda worried that i might look really stupid in my uniform with short hair. but, my long hair is really hard to maintain even though i admit that it looks quite nice on me.
/sigh.
i really don't know. suggestions and advice, people?
<3, Zweiister
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Friday, September 21, 2012
Weekends are splendid!
Don't you love it when the weekends arrive? You get to stay up late on a Friday till it's waaaay past midnight while everyone else is sleeping in the house, and you do your own stuff even though you're not supposed to. It gives me the thrill and excitement of having control over what I do, instead of always having to be chased to bed whether by myself or by my parents. On a Friday night, time is not as restricted because I know I'll get to sleep in on the Saturday morning, therefore, I'm free to stay up as late as I want. Heehee. I simply LUUUURVE the weekends.
<3, Zweiister
Edit:
Awesome song! <3
<3, Zweiister
Edit:
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Confused
Okay. So i'm real messed up. Maybe I have a messed up perception since I read manga books all the time. But I think manga books teach me some lessons that are really important. Speaking your mind and moving on. One day it will become a lovely memory not just a sad one.
Sometimes its really funny because as much as I liked you. It was that much I hated you. There was nothing good about you. Nerd,low confidence, no life. But still the exact the same way, I liked you. The person I liked. I like you I don't like you. I'm so confused. Maybe its because I surrounded myself with people like you. Somehow it confuses me. It been, I lost count? 6 months? 7 months? Since that day. I still don't have the confidence to unleash my final hidden feelings and move on. Sometimes your mean but that you contradict yourself by saying something nice to me. It's a weird feeling. Both people exactly the same. Maybe one part of me doesn't want to like someone like that again.
It's like time has stopped. Past,present,Future. I don't even know where to go from here. My grades are terrible, there is nothing good about me. I'm a crybaby. I cry easily. Just today I cried because the principle bullied the poor secondary two. Everything in life is sad.
I think the only good thing I'm good at is probably crying like it's nobody business. I always run to the same people for help and I rely on them too much. Sometimes I'm scared they will get fed up with me. Or what happens when they move on and I haven't. Or they like someone new.
If I was to rant about everything horrible in my life. I think I would take up the entire blog page.
It's just so confusing. I promised not to like that person. Again and again. I said it was impossible. Everything is just happening again and again. Stuck in Time. Maybe that person would say I'm being stupid. I brought it on myself because I let myself be stuck in such situations. I don't deserve to be sad at all. I'm at fault here.
Maybe I am. I don't really know.
All I know is. I'm stuck here. In time. Not moving. Confused.
Until time restarts again.
Love,
Frayed
Sometimes its really funny because as much as I liked you. It was that much I hated you. There was nothing good about you. Nerd,low confidence, no life. But still the exact the same way, I liked you. The person I liked. I like you I don't like you. I'm so confused. Maybe its because I surrounded myself with people like you. Somehow it confuses me. It been, I lost count? 6 months? 7 months? Since that day. I still don't have the confidence to unleash my final hidden feelings and move on. Sometimes your mean but that you contradict yourself by saying something nice to me. It's a weird feeling. Both people exactly the same. Maybe one part of me doesn't want to like someone like that again.
It's like time has stopped. Past,present,Future. I don't even know where to go from here. My grades are terrible, there is nothing good about me. I'm a crybaby. I cry easily. Just today I cried because the principle bullied the poor secondary two. Everything in life is sad.
I think the only good thing I'm good at is probably crying like it's nobody business. I always run to the same people for help and I rely on them too much. Sometimes I'm scared they will get fed up with me. Or what happens when they move on and I haven't. Or they like someone new.
If I was to rant about everything horrible in my life. I think I would take up the entire blog page.
It's just so confusing. I promised not to like that person. Again and again. I said it was impossible. Everything is just happening again and again. Stuck in Time. Maybe that person would say I'm being stupid. I brought it on myself because I let myself be stuck in such situations. I don't deserve to be sad at all. I'm at fault here.
Maybe I am. I don't really know.
All I know is. I'm stuck here. In time. Not moving. Confused.
Until time restarts again.
Love,
Frayed
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
My heart sings
Haha. The love-sick fool is back with more updates on her meeting with her crush again today! :D
Yup. My heart sings. There's nothing else that I can use to express this wonderful feeling of being head over heels in love with someone whom you can never seem to get enough of. Once again, I ALWAYS happen to only be able to meet her when I least expect it. Which of course, makes my slow heart beat race.
I didn't manage to see her this morning even though I purposely went to the school library in the morning. Didn't see her bag. Of course, I was disappointed. And then, of ALL things, my friend told me that the first person she saw in the school canteen was her. I flipped out completely. But I would be really weird of me to just rush to the canteen, not buying anything, just to see her. It would make me too obvious. And therefore, the day passed.
On a side note, my Project Work Supervising Tutor freaking flipped my group's project with just a simple question. We then realised how messed up it really was and tried to correct it. However, every single point was tied down with another point. It was really difficult to come to a proper conclusion as to what to do with the current state of our PW. Really tormenting.
At the end of school, I was lamenting about the fact that I still had General Paper consultation with my tutor, but oh god, now I want to thank her so much for the extra consultation.
My friend, Carissa, left together after the consultation to go home. After crossing the bridge, it was when I saw her, standing at the bus stop waiting for the bus home. I thanked that bus driver and my teacher inwardly as I pretended not to see her and continue talking to Carissa. We were talking about school stuff and having to retain and depressing shit like that.
The bus arrived, all three of us got on it. Same thing with the train. Then Carissa left at her stop. A group of boys were blocking my view of her and they never seemed to leave. I felt that since it was such a rare chance for me to be able to take the same train home with her, I felt that I should at least say hi, or greet her for a change. I steadied my heart as much as I could as I walked across to her train carriage. And there she was, hugging her bag and nodding off with her earphones plugged in, just like that day that I first noticed that she took the same route as I did. I was so tempted to go up to her and say hi. However, just like the previous time, I could only gather enough strength so as to greet her. I was successful. As it neared my stop, I walked closer to her and tapped her lightly on the arm to wake her up. I then smiled and waved at her goodbye. She looked really sleepy, just as I do now. I keep typing wrong stuff. My heart soared and I couldn't stop grinning this evening. My legs were really wobbly after that greeting though.
(edit: okay, i admit that i had to refrain myself from going to kiss her sleepy forehead before running off. i would've loved it, but if it jeopardises our current relationship of friends/senior-junior, i would definitely regret it.)
Oh well, I'm really really sleepy, so, I'll take a power nap.
Ta-ta for now, peeps!
<3. Zweiister
(can't believe i was falling asleep when I was typing. this)
Yup. My heart sings. There's nothing else that I can use to express this wonderful feeling of being head over heels in love with someone whom you can never seem to get enough of. Once again, I ALWAYS happen to only be able to meet her when I least expect it. Which of course, makes my slow heart beat race.
I didn't manage to see her this morning even though I purposely went to the school library in the morning. Didn't see her bag. Of course, I was disappointed. And then, of ALL things, my friend told me that the first person she saw in the school canteen was her. I flipped out completely. But I would be really weird of me to just rush to the canteen, not buying anything, just to see her. It would make me too obvious. And therefore, the day passed.
On a side note, my Project Work Supervising Tutor freaking flipped my group's project with just a simple question. We then realised how messed up it really was and tried to correct it. However, every single point was tied down with another point. It was really difficult to come to a proper conclusion as to what to do with the current state of our PW. Really tormenting.
At the end of school, I was lamenting about the fact that I still had General Paper consultation with my tutor, but oh god, now I want to thank her so much for the extra consultation.
My friend, Carissa, left together after the consultation to go home. After crossing the bridge, it was when I saw her, standing at the bus stop waiting for the bus home. I thanked that bus driver and my teacher inwardly as I pretended not to see her and continue talking to Carissa. We were talking about school stuff and having to retain and depressing shit like that.
The bus arrived, all three of us got on it. Same thing with the train. Then Carissa left at her stop. A group of boys were blocking my view of her and they never seemed to leave. I felt that since it was such a rare chance for me to be able to take the same train home with her, I felt that I should at least say hi, or greet her for a change. I steadied my heart as much as I could as I walked across to her train carriage. And there she was, hugging her bag and nodding off with her earphones plugged in, just like that day that I first noticed that she took the same route as I did. I was so tempted to go up to her and say hi. However, just like the previous time, I could only gather enough strength so as to greet her. I was successful. As it neared my stop, I walked closer to her and tapped her lightly on the arm to wake her up. I then smiled and waved at her goodbye. She looked really sleepy, just as I do now. I keep typing wrong stuff. My heart soared and I couldn't stop grinning this evening. My legs were really wobbly after that greeting though.
(edit: okay, i admit that i had to refrain myself from going to kiss her sleepy forehead before running off. i would've loved it, but if it jeopardises our current relationship of friends/senior-junior, i would definitely regret it.)
Oh well, I'm really really sleepy, so, I'll take a power nap.
Ta-ta for now, peeps!
<3. Zweiister
(can't believe i was falling asleep when I was typing. this)
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Heart Rate Stimulator
Initially in the morning, I had to wake up early to go for my zero period Physical Education lessons. I thought that she wouldn't come to school that early since she didn't have to after stepping down from the Student Council to prepare for her studies. Still, as hopeful as the hardcore stalker that I have become, I decided to take my usual side of the train to school. (actually, i only started taking that side of the train when i discovered that she took that side of the train to get to school. now, it's the only side that i like to take, even at the expense of missing the train since it's slightly further from the ticketing machines.) Oh, I even decided to wait for the 6:36 am train even though I could've made it in time for the 6:33 am one. Now, I regret it of course, since I found out that she took that 6:33 am train. Sigh. But, THANKFULLY (oh god, yes. thank the heavens and the great gods), I managed to take the same bus as her to school.
When I reached the bus stop, I hadn't seen her yet because the bus stop was really crowded. I hadn't expected to be able to see her today, since I didn't see her on the train and all. Then when the bus arrived, in order to ensure that I got onto the bus, I took a slight detour away from the crowd struggling to enter the bus. I was still looking at the ground then, not focusing on what's in front of me. That was until I looked up.
The song playing on my mp3 just made the setting even more epic. It had hit the chorus where the singer sang
"今君が好きで
てか君が好きで
むしろ君が好きで”
which meant
"Now, I like you
That said, I like you
Instead, I like you "
I happened to lip-sync those words as usual as I do with every other song of which I know the lyrics. And then when I looked up, I realised who was the person my feet had been following in order to avoid the crowd. It was an instant heart rate increase and I swear I could feel my heart pounding wildly against my rib cage. I know I was going to try to forget her gradually, but it seems like I can't for now. I pray that my face DID NOT go red at that moment and that nobody saw my jaw hang open after I lip-synced that verse.
And as usual, I couldn't bring myself to gather the courage to go up to her and say hi. I couldn't even tap her on the shoulder and give a wave.
And it makes me feel damn guilty every time that I don't greet her even though I obviously know that she caught me glancing at her and quickly looking away. I'm just that gutless. She's my goddess and her presence just stuns me immensely. So much that it gets hard to breathe whenever her presence makes my heart race like it's on a marathon.
It's absolutely difficult to try not to think about her 24/7, unless I'm busy with anime and manga. I'm still a dedicated hardcore fujoshi who takes pride, joy and passion for who I am.
Haha. This is something that I read on my facebook newsfeed:
And I completely agree with this. 'Cause it's just so freaking true in my case.
So sorry for the love-sick idiocy that I portray everyday. I'm just so damn crazy about this chick that I can't seem to get out of my mind.
Anyway, ta-ta for now, peeps!
<3, Zweiister
Monday, September 17, 2012
17 September 2012
Hey yo! I'm a really boring and not creative person with titles, so I'm just gonna leave the title as today's date lol.
Sigh. Another day nearer to the promotional examinations. And yet another day closer to the day I will never get to meet her again. Sigh.
I still have a lot of stuff to do today as usual, lotsa stuff due here and there, but I decided to take some time to come here anyway. Haha. Well, it IS a journal after all. Hmmm.
There's nothing really much to say today. Except the fact that I saw her again today. It was a few milliseconds. I pray that she didn't see me avert my eyes from her or pretend that I didn't see her. It was just so damn freaking awkward. And yeah, I'm gonna sound like a love-sick fool, cuz that's what I am. Now that I'm crazy for this girl that I can never get anyway. Haha. It was thanks to her that I became a tiny tiny bit more vocal-ish? Idk really. But yeah, I feel much more light-hearted than I used to in the past where I was all doom and gloom. However, nowadays, I still manage to find a little smile in myself and on my face in the middle of practically nowhere. Haha, yeah I probably look kinda silly smiling to myself in public, but who cares? I'm happy with my memories that made me who I am today. Okay, maybe except the going to a Junior College part, but I really do enjoy being in CJ, and I'm proud to be a CJCian. I still wish that I had gone to SP instead though. Figures. Anyway, in order to stay in this awesome school that I actually feel passionate about, I've gotta make sure that I can promote to Year 2. Otherwise, it'd be damn embarrassing to have to revisit or even drop out to Polytechnic. But maybe then, I can finally do something that I love doing. Haha. I don't know. Just ranting away lols.
Oh look, I ended up typing quite a bit, haven't I? Haha. Thoughts are amazing things, really. I have to do my Project Work Written Report right now and complete a few assignments before I start studying for my math test tomorrow. Sigh. Life is such a busy thing. But then again, my real name means "Life". So I guess I just gotta go with the flow, huh. (:
Ta-ta for now, peeps!
<3, Zweiister
Sigh. Another day nearer to the promotional examinations. And yet another day closer to the day I will never get to meet her again. Sigh.
I still have a lot of stuff to do today as usual, lotsa stuff due here and there, but I decided to take some time to come here anyway. Haha. Well, it IS a journal after all. Hmmm.
There's nothing really much to say today. Except the fact that I saw her again today. It was a few milliseconds. I pray that she didn't see me avert my eyes from her or pretend that I didn't see her. It was just so damn freaking awkward. And yeah, I'm gonna sound like a love-sick fool, cuz that's what I am. Now that I'm crazy for this girl that I can never get anyway. Haha. It was thanks to her that I became a tiny tiny bit more vocal-ish? Idk really. But yeah, I feel much more light-hearted than I used to in the past where I was all doom and gloom. However, nowadays, I still manage to find a little smile in myself and on my face in the middle of practically nowhere. Haha, yeah I probably look kinda silly smiling to myself in public, but who cares? I'm happy with my memories that made me who I am today. Okay, maybe except the going to a Junior College part, but I really do enjoy being in CJ, and I'm proud to be a CJCian. I still wish that I had gone to SP instead though. Figures. Anyway, in order to stay in this awesome school that I actually feel passionate about, I've gotta make sure that I can promote to Year 2. Otherwise, it'd be damn embarrassing to have to revisit or even drop out to Polytechnic. But maybe then, I can finally do something that I love doing. Haha. I don't know. Just ranting away lols.
Oh look, I ended up typing quite a bit, haven't I? Haha. Thoughts are amazing things, really. I have to do my Project Work Written Report right now and complete a few assignments before I start studying for my math test tomorrow. Sigh. Life is such a busy thing. But then again, my real name means "Life". So I guess I just gotta go with the flow, huh. (:
Ta-ta for now, peeps!
<3, Zweiister
Sunday, September 16, 2012
-Take a chance and leap-Forgive?
Let me introduce to you,myself.
Sure,Frayed might be sad or angry but she gone too far now.
She decided to seek comfort in a former friend of mine who I am trying to hate.
I see her point, that she needs someone to comfort her but what she is doing is wrong to me.
I see the world from different perspectives.
Many times have I been betrayed or know the feeling of not being friends with someone but... that is just life.
I am not popular or sweet. I hate boys in general in school but I don't understand why I do not hate them online...
I have a weak spot for people who really need me but now that hardly surfaces.
I learned to be fierce, to not be dependent on fools.
I ask myself.
Does this world really need me?
----------------------Anyway to another huge topic------------------------
2012 is such a bad year isn't it...
Countries are fighting it out and greed is really wide spread.
People have died just for one person selfish reason.
If the world really ends now,well...we must be pathetic people.
Why?
We are all still fighting even though the world is ending...
We don't share nor apologize for one misdeed.
I guess I am no better...
Unable to forgive that person.
Unable to forget myself.
For thinking of thoughts that aren't so good.
For thinking of a existence without me.
I guess I would just keep going on for someone that doesn't exist.
When or where?
No one knows.
I guess we all are crazy folks aren't we.
Here am I saying crap when I can't even forgive one small person in my heart.
I did everything I could to deserve this right?
You brought this upon yourself?
I will never change...
That little person who dared to believe in people and the teenager who hates that small part for existing.
Who knows? I going to have to take a huge step forward and say what I have to say.
One small step for me,one leap in my heart away from the hurt.
Oh yea...My name.
KingWeaver
-Take a chance and leap-
I be writing in blue by the way.Nice to meet other folks like you.
I dish out idiotic stuff that no one takes notice of.
kingsitecom.blogspot.com
Sure,Frayed might be sad or angry but she gone too far now.
She decided to seek comfort in a former friend of mine who I am trying to hate.
I see her point, that she needs someone to comfort her but what she is doing is wrong to me.
I see the world from different perspectives.
Many times have I been betrayed or know the feeling of not being friends with someone but... that is just life.
I am not popular or sweet. I hate boys in general in school but I don't understand why I do not hate them online...
I have a weak spot for people who really need me but now that hardly surfaces.
I learned to be fierce, to not be dependent on fools.
I ask myself.
Does this world really need me?
----------------------Anyway to another huge topic------------------------
2012 is such a bad year isn't it...
Countries are fighting it out and greed is really wide spread.
People have died just for one person selfish reason.
If the world really ends now,well...we must be pathetic people.
Why?
We are all still fighting even though the world is ending...
We don't share nor apologize for one misdeed.
I guess I am no better...
Unable to forgive that person.
Unable to forget myself.
For thinking of thoughts that aren't so good.
For thinking of a existence without me.
I guess I would just keep going on for someone that doesn't exist.
When or where?
No one knows.
I guess we all are crazy folks aren't we.
Here am I saying crap when I can't even forgive one small person in my heart.
I did everything I could to deserve this right?
You brought this upon yourself?
I will never change...
That little person who dared to believe in people and the teenager who hates that small part for existing.
Who knows? I going to have to take a huge step forward and say what I have to say.
One small step for me,one leap in my heart away from the hurt.
Oh yea...My name.
KingWeaver
-Take a chance and leap-
I be writing in blue by the way.Nice to meet other folks like you.
I dish out idiotic stuff that no one takes notice of.
kingsitecom.blogspot.com
First postiie
Well Hello there.
Uhm.
Haha. Hi.
No seriously, I should be doing my homework now, but I'm kinda excited about this whole blog thing. Haha. I never really had long-lasting relationships with journals, blogs, and the like. Hopefully, this one will stay. And yey! This is a shared blog between me and my SUPER DOOPER AWESOME COUSIN. heehee. I love my cousin muchiies. Miao. I sound like a little kid. Whatever. Just being super random now. Something I do often when I've nothing much to rant about.
Anyway, seeing my cousin's upset first post is saddening. I shall give her a cyber glomp! xDDD (cyber glomps Frayed) Cheer up, babe. Your horizons will widen next year and you'll definitely get to step out of this endless cycle of boy curse.
Ah, talking about one-sided love, I considering trying to forget about my current one, since she' s graduating this year and all, and I won't get to see her ever again starting next year. It's kinda sad for me since I barely get to see her, much less have the guts to go up and talk to her. I suspect that she knows I like her though. That would make me soooo screwed. She must certainly not know about my one-sided feelings towards her, no matter how strong they are. I'm always thinking and dreaming about confessing, but I know that that is completely out of the question. She's probably as straight as a .. ruler. Or something that can never bend. Eeep.
Oh, and to all you homophobs out there, if you have something against the LGBT, get your ass out of here before things get reaaaally nasty.
ANYWAY, like I said, I have tons of shit to do. Will probably end up doing homework till really late into the night. So, toodles for now!
By the way, I'll be using grey for my posts. And, I go by the name of Zweiister. Sounds cool? Yes? No? xDDD
Ta-ta for now, peeps!
<3, Zweiister
Uhm.
Haha. Hi.
No seriously, I should be doing my homework now, but I'm kinda excited about this whole blog thing. Haha. I never really had long-lasting relationships with journals, blogs, and the like. Hopefully, this one will stay. And yey! This is a shared blog between me and my SUPER DOOPER AWESOME COUSIN. heehee. I love my cousin muchiies. Miao. I sound like a little kid. Whatever. Just being super random now. Something I do often when I've nothing much to rant about.
Anyway, seeing my cousin's upset first post is saddening. I shall give her a cyber glomp! xDDD (cyber glomps Frayed) Cheer up, babe. Your horizons will widen next year and you'll definitely get to step out of this endless cycle of boy curse.
Ah, talking about one-sided love, I considering trying to forget about my current one, since she' s graduating this year and all, and I won't get to see her ever again starting next year. It's kinda sad for me since I barely get to see her, much less have the guts to go up and talk to her. I suspect that she knows I like her though. That would make me soooo screwed. She must certainly not know about my one-sided feelings towards her, no matter how strong they are. I'm always thinking and dreaming about confessing, but I know that that is completely out of the question. She's probably as straight as a .. ruler. Or something that can never bend. Eeep.
Oh, and to all you homophobs out there, if you have something against the LGBT, get your ass out of here before things get reaaaally nasty.
ANYWAY, like I said, I have tons of shit to do. Will probably end up doing homework till really late into the night. So, toodles for now!
By the way, I'll be using grey for my posts. And, I go by the name of Zweiister. Sounds cool? Yes? No? xDDD
Ta-ta for now, peeps!
<3, Zweiister
Frayed Hearts
Okay so fineee. I'm insensitive,evil,annoying,stupid. And even you said that's what I am. I wished I could be nice too like O i'm so sweet so pretty so gentle sooooooooo gosh. But that's what I am. I act this way because I care. You call me mean for insulting her. But she isn't worth it. Can't you see that I'm doing this for you...Gosh. And then I have to feel bad for insulting her. SHE SO TOTALLY DESERVES IT. -gosh fans myself. I am so pissed.
Nothing pays to be good.
Stupid...Its so annoying for your old feelings to come and be tangled with everything around you. You say you got time for me. More like....more like you don't want to see me. Busy. Heck everyone is busy.
GOSH THIS IS THE REASON WHY i hateeeeeeeeeeeeeeee boys.
They make me so confused. All my life one sided love. I been through so much. I don't even know who I like anymore. Afraid to jump in cause I know it won't turn out well. So what am I still doing here waiting hoping.This is so freaking annoying. FINE i can be vulgar and everything. You don't judge me. I judge myself.
I exist for myself and not for any of you freaks
Fine.Maybe I'm fickle-minded. Like I always jump to conclusions. Randomly like people. Well that's because I'm lost. Lost ever since that happened. Not sure what's the truth everything is blurred.
Pass you my heart and then what. You wanna mess it up. No way...
Oh and btw call me........er... Frayed
I always type in purple.
With much hate,
Frayed
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)