Confused

Okay. So i'm real messed up. Maybe I have a messed up perception since I read manga books all the time. But I think manga books teach me some lessons that are really important. Speaking your mind and moving on. One day it will become a lovely memory not just a sad one. 

Sometimes its really funny because as much as I liked you. It was that much I hated you. There was nothing good about you. Nerd,low confidence, no life. But still the exact the same way, I liked you. The person I liked. I like you I don't like you. I'm so confused. Maybe its because I surrounded myself with people like you. Somehow it confuses me. It been, I lost count? 6 months? 7 months? Since that day. I still don't have the confidence to unleash my final hidden feelings and move on. Sometimes your mean but that you contradict yourself by saying something nice to me. It's a weird feeling. Both people exactly the same. Maybe one part of me doesn't want to like someone like that again. 

It's like time has stopped. Past,present,Future. I don't even know where to go from here. My grades are terrible, there is nothing good about me. I'm a crybaby. I cry easily. Just today I cried because the principle bullied the poor secondary two. Everything in life is sad.

I think the only good thing I'm good at is probably crying like it's nobody business. I always run to the same people for help and I rely on them too much. Sometimes I'm scared they will get fed up with me. Or what happens when they move on and I haven't. Or they like someone new.

If I was to rant about everything horrible in my life. I think I would take up the entire blog page.
It's just so confusing. I promised not to like that person. Again and again. I said it was impossible. Everything is just happening again and again. Stuck in Time. Maybe that person would say I'm being stupid. I brought it on myself because I let myself be stuck in such situations. I don't deserve to be sad at all. I'm at fault here.
Maybe I am. I don't really know.

All I know is. I'm stuck here. In time. Not moving. Confused.
Until time restarts again.


Love,
Frayed