Initially in the morning, I had to wake up early to go for my zero period Physical Education lessons. I thought that she wouldn't come to school that early since she didn't have to after stepping down from the Student Council to prepare for her studies. Still, as hopeful as the hardcore stalker that I have become, I decided to take my usual side of the train to school. (actually, i only started taking that side of the train when i discovered that she took that side of the train to get to school. now, it's the only side that i like to take, even at the expense of missing the train since it's slightly further from the ticketing machines.) Oh, I even decided to wait for the 6:36 am train even though I could've made it in time for the 6:33 am one. Now, I regret it of course, since I found out that she took that 6:33 am train. Sigh. But, THANKFULLY (oh god, yes. thank the heavens and the great gods), I managed to take the same bus as her to school.
When I reached the bus stop, I hadn't seen her yet because the bus stop was really crowded. I hadn't expected to be able to see her today, since I didn't see her on the train and all. Then when the bus arrived, in order to ensure that I got onto the bus, I took a slight detour away from the crowd struggling to enter the bus. I was still looking at the ground then, not focusing on what's in front of me. That was until I looked up.
The song playing on my mp3 just made the setting even more epic. It had hit the chorus where the singer sang
"今君が好きで
てか君が好きで
むしろ君が好きで”
which meant
"Now, I like you
That said, I like you
Instead, I like you "
I happened to lip-sync those words as usual as I do with every other song of which I know the lyrics. And then when I looked up, I realised who was the person my feet had been following in order to avoid the crowd. It was an instant heart rate increase and I swear I could feel my heart pounding wildly against my rib cage. I know I was going to try to forget her gradually, but it seems like I can't for now. I pray that my face DID NOT go red at that moment and that nobody saw my jaw hang open after I lip-synced that verse.
And as usual, I couldn't bring myself to gather the courage to go up to her and say hi. I couldn't even tap her on the shoulder and give a wave.
And it makes me feel damn guilty every time that I don't greet her even though I obviously know that she caught me glancing at her and quickly looking away. I'm just that gutless. She's my goddess and her presence just stuns me immensely. So much that it gets hard to breathe whenever her presence makes my heart race like it's on a marathon.
It's absolutely difficult to try not to think about her 24/7, unless I'm busy with anime and manga. I'm still a dedicated hardcore fujoshi who takes pride, joy and passion for who I am.
Haha. This is something that I read on my facebook newsfeed:
And I completely agree with this. 'Cause it's just so freaking true in my case.
So sorry for the love-sick idiocy that I portray everyday. I'm just so damn crazy about this chick that I can't seem to get out of my mind.
Anyway, ta-ta for now, peeps!
<3, Zweiister
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