Ayyyyy

wassup y'all?

It's been hella long since anyone has posted here.
Dude, like, it's been more than a year!
Crazy shit has gone down.

Frayed's in Year 2 of Junior College now, King is in her.. second year of poly as well? Hmmm. Can't really remember.

But anyways, guess what? Looks like I did shitty for my A's and I landed up in polytechnic as well! LOL.

What an amazing turn of events within this long long time that none of us bothered to blog.

Anyways, I didn't manage to get into the course that I wanted, much to my chagrin. I cried when I failed to appeal since there was no space left available for me to transfer.

But well, life is life. I need to keep on moving, even if I really don't like how my life has been playing out. Or more like, I've never liked anything with regards to life in general since after PSLE. Hmmmm. So depressing. But that's me alright.

I guess it's also been really long since I typed anything that is for non-academic purposes? I haven't really been writing or anything, just reading, reading, reading, and drawing when need be, or when the urge to do so arises.

Like I mentioned in my last post, blogging can seriously be such a bore nowadays. My life is a bore, there's really nothing much to say anymore. Even if it isn't, it feels just like it's the most boring thing ever.

Everything is just so grey and dull, just like this text.

There's a never-ending stream of design assignments that seem to pour down on us, requiring so much brainwork to think and design, what you may have of it. Initially, things were still kind of fun, until I got my first C+ grade recently.

Sigh. I really hate this. I hate how everyone else is so amazing and whatnot.
I hate how they say how easy it is to score well. I hate how I'm just never enough.

Just a few days ago, I got a hard smack of reality into my face.

I was going to get on my way home when I bumped into Regina, my best friend (however in her case, i'm prolly not her only best friend anymore). She was with another friend and told me that she was going to her friend's house later.

Just at that moment, I had a hard slap of reality. That person whom she was going home with used to be me. That was years ago. But it is now no longer.

So many things have changed. Everyone has been separated from each other, we're all doing different things, leading different lives. It's all so horrifying. It's like I still know them, but I don't. That feeling of closeness feels like it's been lost forever.

I don't understand how people can still remain best friends like this when they barely see each other face to face anymore. Regina's still considered my best friend. Cuz' when we say best, there is only supposed to be one. However, that is definitely not the case for her anymore.

Ugh. I'm so depressed everyday, it feels just like the times I was in Junior College. I feel like I'm being strangled and suffocated.

I feel like I'm being thrown away and left behind.

I feel like I miss everyone, but I don't even know them anymore. How do people even cope with persisting feelings like this?! I don't even know if I'm obsessed with them, or just the memories of being with them anymore.

Highly disturbed but still somehow hanging on,
Zweii